i can't believe i had my finger in that
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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