She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
