Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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