last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I think my fart just growled at me.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
