Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I need to stop coming to work sober
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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