They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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