I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I checked into jail on foursquare
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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