That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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