If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
