Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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