Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
how can u be prego again
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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