think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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