Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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