She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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