erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
