I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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