apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
