she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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