ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize