Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
