I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
