Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize