Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Drake has all the answers
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
