problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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