There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
