Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
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Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
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Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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