Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
