People with herpes should wear stickers.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
