so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm both gender and math confused
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