Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
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How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
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