i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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