These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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