it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
