Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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