people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
that may or may not have been my penis.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
