So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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