You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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