I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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