went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
