i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
