He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.