I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?