How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.