I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
