He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
