You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
