but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
