cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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