Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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