Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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