I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
