I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
