Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
