apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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