is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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