You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
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