Grow some girl-balls and come out already
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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